Welcome to The New Chainik Hocker. I am your host, the eponymous Chainik Hocker, here to share news, reviews, pretty pictures, and silly opinions with you. Contact me at chainik DOT hocker AT gmail DOT com

Sunday, February 12, 2006

And the hits just keep on coming!

Vice President of the Entire Goshdarn United States of America Dick Cheney shot a man over the weekend while on a hunting trip. “Because I can”, he snarled at reporters. “Now go f*ck yourselves, you liberal *$$holes” he continued, brandishing a pistol and a bottle of Wild Turkey.

The victim, Harry Whittington of Austin, insists he is “feeling fine”, that it was all “a big misunderstanding”. He declined to comment on the tattoo on his forehead reading “Cheney’s Prison Bitch”.

Condaleeza Rice said in a press conference yesterday “when I shoot a man, not only does he stay dead, the press never hears of it! Amateur!”

In other news, Kofi Annan is set to privatize the UN.

Kofi Annan, the UN secretary general, has commissioned a study into the outsourcing of the department for General Assembly and Conference ­Management, the main UN ­decision-making body whose officials issue about 200 documents a day in six languages.

He’s already placed an ad in the New York Times Classified section.

Wanted: motivated self starter to do nothing as dictators murder their own citizens, terrorists slaughter innocents, tyrants seek nuclear weapons, and everyone blames everything on Israel and/or the United States. Some light filing. Must provide own blue helmet. Bilingual a plus, especially French. Knowledge of Windows 98, Word for Windows, Nepotism and Bribery a must. $38k + benefits. May need to relocate to Bern or Paris if the Americans ever get sick of our tomfoolery. No fat chicks, Zionists.

Also: it’s snowing! A lot!

In the blogosphere:

The Islamo-nutfudges are throwing a hissy fit over some cartoons (good link- check it out before it gets taken down. RTHT, which I’ve adopted as my trademark). Elisson has the cartoons getting jiggy right back at the nutfudges.

Abbagav is hawking bumper stickers.

Yaron has, it seems, something of an odd opinion of me (slightly old).
Sorry about being inblognito- it was work related, it was important, and it worked out fine.