A British jihadist website has warned Muslims against being drawn in to what they described as "the new religion of soccer."
Claiming that soccer plants the seeds of nationalism, and is therefore part of a "colonial crusader scheme" to divide Muslims and cause them to stray from the vision of a unified Islamic identity, the website told readers: "The sad fact of the matter is that many Muslims have fallen for this new religion and they too carry the national flag.
In other news, John Paintsil, the Ghanan soccer player who plays for Hapoel Tel Aviv when he isn't in the world cup and caused enormous controversy among hate mongering xenophobic whackadoo Islamofascists when he waved an Israeli flag to celebrate a goal, has been outed as a Mossad agent by Egyptian national media.
"The ignorant and stupid Pantsil, who spent 20 days in Egypt during the last African Nations Cup, plays for Hapoel," sports commentator Alaa Sadek wrote in the daily Al-Akhbar, explaining to baffled Egyptian audiences Panstil's link to Israel. Some papers described Pantsil as a "Mossad agent", others said "an Israeli had paid him to do it" but the most elaborate theory was offered by the top-selling state-owned daily Al-Ahram.
"The real reason," sports analyst Hassan el-Mestekawi wrote,
stems from the fact that many Ghanaian players go through football training camps set up by an Israeli coach who "discovered the treasure of African talent, and abused the poverty of the continent's children" with the ultimate goal of selling them off to European clubs."The training program for these children starts every morning with a salute to the Israeli flag," Mestekawi claimed.
Valery Plame was last seen snorking coffee all over her keyboard while reading this blogpost.
I ran into a British friend of mine on Thursday, who immediately (and good heartedly, I should add) offered his sincere condolences on the American team's elimination from the playoffs, followed by a close and detailed analysis of the game, followed by a complicated and involved monologue on the subject of the probable outcome of the World Cup.
Sometimes I'm too nice for my own good. I could have told him to shut the hell up any time in the twenty minutes this conversation took place, or I could have just changed the subject, but he was obviously having too much fun. So, whatev.
