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Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Diabetics of the world, unite! You have nothing to lose but your Rocky Road!

Q: What flavors of ice cream does an anarchist ice cream truck offer?

A: As anarchists, we reject the stifling, repressive Rethuglican concept of “flavors”. We encourage you to choose your own flavor experience. We are not bound by the chocolate-vanilla-strawberry paradigm that has oppressed ice cream enthusiasts for generations.

Q: What can I get for 37 cents?

A: As anarchists, we reject the exploitative capitalistic practice of demanding money in exchange for ice cream. As Karl Marx explains in his letter to Engels of 24 August 1867, which put forth the theory of surplus value, in each class of society, part of society (the ruling class) appropriates the social surplus product. Nature grows grass, which is eaten by cows, which produce milk, which is stolen by agrobusiness, a part of the military-industrial complex, forcing the proletarian farmer to compete against each other. The milk of oppression is exploited by Ben and Jerry’s, which leads to the capitalistic rip-off.

You can have this pamphlet for $3.50.

Q: What kind of music does an anarchist ice cream truck play?

A: The Entertainer. It’s a classic, man.

Q: So, what’s with the paint job?

A: What do you mean?

Q: You painted your truck black and red. Aren’t ice cream trucks traditionally painted white?

A: Why are you trying to censor me? Freedom of artistic expression is the cornerstone of… of… artistic expression! Fascist!

Q: But its traditional.

A: You know what else is traditional? Slavery? Do you support slavery?

Q: Wha?

A: Fascist! I bet you’re a Republican! This interview is over! No blood for oil!

door slams. engine starts. Mister Softee jingle plays.

Context here. Thank you, Fark.